I can't believe that I haven't blogged in four months, not that I didn't think about it because I did. Several times I thought of attempting to write and many of my closest friends even asked the reason why I stopped completely. In all honesty, there was a lot of different things going on in my head and in my heart that keep me away from blogging.
Many times I felt insecure and scared of what others were going to say or think about my writing. Other times, I questioned my own motive behind blogging. Am I doing this for me? I asked myself over and over again. Why am I doing this? Why did I start doing this? What is the purpose behind me blogging? Also, I wondered if people were also questioning my motives behind blogging and writing. It was all obviously just inside of my head.
The reason why I started this online space was with the hope that through my experience as a young woman in ministry, I could help and inspire others in their own journey. In Matthew 5:14-15 (ESV) it says, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
I have been fighting with fear for a long time, probably all of my life. But I don't want to not use my gifts and abilities because I'm constantly afraid of failure or of what other people are going to think of what I'm doing or the motive behind it. I say, we all use our gifts and abilities for the glory of God. Encourage the people around you, encourage yourself, be the light of Jesus on this Earth.