In John 10:10 He says, "I came to give life with joy abundance"(VOICE). For the past couple of months, in my small group we've been diving in and learning what it looks like to live an abudant life in several different aspects such as prayer, community, joy, contentment, and many more other things! This past week, we asked ourselves: Am I living the life that Jesus gave me abundantly? I'm not going to lie, it's a scary thought for me. A convicting one as well. I'm the kind of person that likes getting the job "done" and a lot of times that means that I tried to check things of a list, consider them done, and then move on with the next task. I realized that I had been doing something similar when it comes to my walk with Christ. Read my Bible: check! Pray: check! Watch a service online or listen to a podcast: check! I mean, I love doing these things and I love that they are part of my routine. Something has been missing though and it has been very hard to figure out what it is exactly. Lately, I've been feeling like my life is constantly driven by fear. I chose to do things and not to do things because I'm so afraid of disrupting the way things are in my life. I feel like that's why I've never been able to give my 100% to this blog. I'm constantly afraid of not doing it right. I constantly feel like I have nothing important to share with my readers. It's like I'm waiting for the moment where things line up and everything is looking perfect, then I make my "bold" move. Before that happens, I just stand in the sideliness frozen by fear. Honestly, I'm done with fear! I had to ask myself: Am I willing to step up, even if it means that it won't be perfect? Yes! It isn't about having your plan or life perfectly outlined, it's about always doing the next thing in front of you to the best of your ability. Know that if you're feeling like this or if you've ever felt like this, your life counts! Your presence matters to the kingdom of God! You're vital!

What are you saying to yourself? Are you saying kind things? Awful things? Personally, I was so used to the loop of bad news replaying in my head every single day that I stopped noticing how mean I was to myself. Thoughts such as "I can't do it", to "I'm never going to be good enough" often play in my head for no reason. Why? Unfortunately, that's the way that my brain has been wired for almost 23 years! I'm doing a challenge to read 20 different books in 2019, I stumbled upon "Preach to Yourself" by Hayley Morgan and I can honestly say that it's been the most life changing book I've ever read (up to now, LOL)! We have to stop the bad news that replay in our minds every single day by putting truth over them! What does God say in His living word about what you're saying to yourself? Even what you're saying or thinking about others? Allow God to transform you by renewing your mind! I know well that it's going to be a life long process, but it's time to fully believe in His word and to stop doubting! 

​This might be more on the personal side, but I hope that this will encourage you to open up to God about the areas in your life where you're telling lies to yourself. My prayer is that you let Him in and allow His truth to transform you. Once I finished reading the book, I started a document that listed all the nasty things I was saying to myself every single day, and I looked up scripture that says the opposite. Now, when I catch myself pondering on the bad news; I look at my document (yes, I have a physical copy in my purse and a digital one in my phone). 
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I've always seen the whole "12 new resolutions for the new year" as simply a tradition. I'm not sure if many share this tradition, but with my family right at midnight when the clock marks the new year, we eat 12 grapes. Each grape represents one of our new resolutions of the new year. Usually, by the end of the first week of January I already forgot what my resolutions were. For that reason I feel like there just a tradition with no real substance. Last night after work, I was thinking of approaching the whole thing in a completely different way. What if I focused on one resolution at a time? For example, this month I'm focusing on reading 10 pages of a book every single day. Next month I want to focus on worrying less. My goal is that by the time I start on my second resolution, the first one will have become a positive habit in my life. I want to slowly create healthy habits around the 12 different resolutions that I was 100% sure I wasn't going to accomplish. I'll keep ya'll updated!

Right after my last day of work before a very well deserved Christmas break, LOL. I decided to completely shut down. No thoughts about work, about blogging, or anything that made me feel stressed or worried about the new year. I traveled with my family and it was amazing. I truly lived in the moment and enjoyed it to the fullest! When my vacation was coming to an end, I caught myself thinking about work several times a day. I caught myself feeling scared, overwhelmed, and worried about what was to come with my return. In those moment, I told myself to stop. To stop thinking the worst of a situation when it hasn't even happened. To cherish my family and the opportunity that I was to relax and have fun! My first day back to work was great! It was awesome to be back and to catch up with my aswesome friends! It was nothing like I was expecting to be. Don't let your own thoughts cloud your expectation of something. You might end up dreading something that could be amazing.

Happy Wednesday everyone!
A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I had to be more intentional about scheduling my resting time. Last weekend was not a complete success since I failed to schedule my days off. This weekend was a slight different, I was able to 100% schedule both of my days off. Monday I planned to go to Disneyland with my boyfriend and then I planned to go to Universal Studios on  Tuesday with friends! Overall, it was a great weekend! Am I a little tired? Yes! That's the thing about weekends and your days off, if you do things that make you happy and spend yout time with people that bring you joy, then that weekend was a success! Rergardless if you're feeling a bit tired. My next weekend is Christmas day and I'm looking forward to spending the time with my family and friends, even if that means giving up on a "rest" day.